Hanging by a Moment Here With You
by toybembry
Summary: Bosco's got it bad...for his partner. Chapters 13 and 14 are up!
1. Default Chapter

Hanging By a Moment (Lyrics by Lifehouse)  
  
Desperate for changing  
  
Starving for truth  
  
Closer where I Started  
  
Chasing after you  
  
I'm falling even more in love with you  
  
letting go of all I've held onto I'm standing here until you make me move  
  
I'm hanging by a moment here with you  
  
forgetting all I'm lacking  
  
completely incomplete  
  
I'll take your invitation  
  
you take all of me  
  
now.. I'm falling even more in love with you  
  
letting go of all I've held onto  
  
I'm standing here until you make me move  
  
I'm hanging by a moment here with you  
  
I'm living for the only thing I know  
  
I'm running and not quite sure where to go  
  
I don't know what I'm diving into  
  
just hanging by a moment here with you  
  
there's nothing else to lose  
  
nothing left to find  
  
there's nothing in the world  
  
that could change my mind  
  
there is nothing else  
  
there is nothing else...  
  
Desperate for changing  
  
Starving for truth  
  
Closer where I Started  
  
Chasing after you  
  
I'm falling even more in love with you  
  
letting go of all I've held onto  
  
I'm standing here until you make me move  
  
I'm hanging by a moment here with you  
  
I'm living for the only thing I know  
  
I'm running and not quite sure where to go  
  
I don't know what I'm diving into  
  
just hanging by a moment here with you  
  
just hanging by a moment  
  
hanging by a moment..  
  
hanging by a moment...  
  
hanging by a moment here with you..  
  
"Bos.Bos? BOSCO!"  
  
"What?!" Bosco exclaimed, shaken out of his reverie. He looked up to see Faith staring down at him intently.  
  
"What's with you? You've been staring at your shoes for about an hour," Faith said.  
  
It was Friday afternoon, the start of the shift. Bosco, Faith, Sully and Ty were suiting up getting ready for the day. Bosco hated Fridays. Because after Friday came the weekend.  
  
A towel sailed through the air, smacking Bosco upside his head. "Hey!" he yelled, swiveling his head around in search of the culprit.  
  
"The lady asked you a question," Sully said calmly as Ty chuckled.  
  
"The lady?" Faith sneered.  
  
"I'm fine," Bosco snapped, slamming his locker shut. "Hurry up Yokas, before the Lieu gets irate."  
  
"What's with him?" Sully asked watching Bosco storm out of the locker room.  
  
Faith rolled her eyes. "He's always moody on Fridays. You'd think he'd be ready for the weekends. Increases his chances of getting his pole waxed."  
  
Ty, Sully and Faith shared a laugh as they headed to roll call.  
××××××××× 


	2. Strategy

Chapter Two  
  
"You know what Bos, I'm not in the mood today. I'm really not," Faith warned.  
  
Just irritate her. Upset her. It'll make you feel better. "I mean how many ways can a girl get it on with another girl?" Bosco speculated. "Where's the fun in that? So I tell her, 'Add a real man in the mix, preferably yours truly, and things would definitely start to-"  
  
"BOSCO!! I do not want to hear about your encounter with your lesbian neighbor!" Faith screamed. "Hey, I gotta listen to you complain about Fred and Emily and the light bill and yada yada yada. Do I scream? No." Bosco said. "Poor Charlie. Ya'll must drive the boy nuts."  
  
Faith shot Bosco The Look. Damn. It's designed to stop me in my tracks and it always does, Bosco thought. But not for the intended reason. The weekend is coming up.I can't let her do this to me.  
  
"Ya know, sometimes I think you sit and think of the many ways you can just piss me off," Faith said accusingly.  
  
Frightened, Bosco stole a quick look at his partner. Faith shook her head and chuckled as she focused on the road. Bosco quickly relaxed and allowed himself to revel in her beauty. His eyes followed the curve of her neck to the stray strand of golden hair that fell on her shoulder, teasingly. What would happen if I just reached out and tucked-  
  
"55-David, we've got a 10-16 on a possible stolen vehicle, 23rd and MacArthur."  
  
"55-David to central, we got it," Faith confirmed. "Great. 20 minutes before we get off and some guy gets his car stolen?"  
  
Thank you God. "The justice," Bosco said shaking his head.  
××××××××× 


	3. The Longest Night

Chapter Three  
  
Bosco sat by his bedroom window staring out into the city night. Glancing at his bedside clock, he groaned. Five a.m. This has got to stop, Bosco thought, I need to get me some sleep. The silence of his apartment backed him as he contemplated the source of his insomnia. Monday through Friday, Bosco awoke every morning, handled his business, went to work, then straight to bed at night, no problem. But the weekend was different. That's when the thoughts came, the regrets, the wishes. Maybe it was because he was away from his partner for two days and that was just too long of a separation. Or maybe it was the knowledge that she was spending quality time with her family, her husband, with not a stray thought his way. Whatever it was, the insomnia would creep up on him like a fog sneaking across a grassy meadow until it literally suffocated him, leaving him gasping for air. And he would come to his window and think, because thinking was better than failing attempt after attempt to sleep.  
  
He would come up with scenarios, different ways of coming clean to Faith. Sometimes he thought about just dropping it in during their daily banter: "Yeah, Christopher was an ass, thank God he transferred.by the way I love you." Other times he envisioned himself roaring up to her apartment building, crashing through the doors and literally whisking her away from her pathetic husband. Fred, Bosco thought with disgust. I'll never understand it. But to admit his feelings would take courage, something Bosco didn't possess. He chuckled in disgust. I can chase criminals day after day, risking my life in the process, but I can't tell a woman I want her?  
  
But this wasn't just any woman and he was smart enough to realize it. Bosco sighed, drowning in his desperation. He felt the need for a change, knew that his life was at a standstill. But the only way he could imagine himself making that change was with Faith. He knew he could be a better man if Faith was by his side, truly with him, not in the sense of partners or best friends. As his.  
  
Sighing again he glanced at the sky. The sun will be up soon, he thought, as he headed into the kitchen to start the morning coffee.  
××××××××× 


	4. Talk to Me

Chapter Four  
  
"I swear you are a walking contradiction Bos," Faith said. "Mondays you come in drag-ass like you've been partying it up all weekend and on Fridays you pull the Mr. Moody act like you can't bear the thought of the time off."  
  
Bosco slowly rubbed the back of his neck. The past weekend was an unusually stressful one and he was in no mood to be mocked. The rain pouring down in buckets wasn't helping his disposition much either. "I'm not feeling all that well today," he said lamely.  
  
"Yeah hangovers are a bitch on a Monday afternoon," Faith joked. "So which girl had you up all night? Sheba? Lacy? Joanne?"  
  
"This is your business how?" Bosco snapped.  
  
"Sooorrrryyy," she drawled, "if you ain't spilling the beans on this one, she must be special."  
  
"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" Bosco exploded. "You don't know a damn thing. You don't know a damn thing about me. Focus on your life and stay the hell outta mine."  
  
Faith slowly pulled the RMP up to the curve and put it in park. She turned and took a good look at her partner. Bosco's was staring straight ahead, rubbing his forehead with his right hand. He was slumped forward in a posture of wariness and his leg was tapping out its own little tune. For the first time Faith noticed the deep, dark circles under his eyes. He looked wound up tight as a coil.  
  
"Bos," Faith said softly, "talk to me."  
  
"There's nothing to talk about," he answered shortly.  
  
"If something's bothering you, you know you can talk to me about it.are you still seeing your psychologist?" she asked tentatively.  
  
Bosco looked at her in disbelief. "Yeah, maybe I'll ask him why my partner feels the need to look down on me all the time. I'll tell him how that makes me feel."  
  
Faith was at a lost. She knew Bosco's moods had been erratic lately, but she hadn't really thought much about it. With Emily's visits to the counselor and Fred nagging her to spend more time at home, her mind had been clogged with domestic matters. But something was wrong here and it bothered her that she hadn't seen it coming.  
  
"Let's, let's just ride out the rest of the shift okay? Take it easy from here," she suggested.  
  
Bosco lifted his hand up wearily in assent and watched the rain beat down on the window.  
××××××××× 


	5. Blinded by the Chase

Chapter 5  
  
"55-David to central 10-13, 10-13, we've got shots fired 99th and Broadway. Request a bus to this location forthwith." Bosco screamed into his radio. He took off down the alleyway after the perp.  
  
A young Latino woman lied prone on the ground, a red flower blossoming on her chest. Faith kneeled down and grabbed her hand. "Help will be here soon, just hold on," Faith pleaded. "Bosco!"  
  
Her partner was nowhere in sight. Dammit, she thought. Where was he? She grabbed her radio. "Bosco, come in. Where the hell are you?" Suddenly she heard sirens and looked up to see 55-Charlie pulling in with EMS close behind.  
  
"Yokas, you alright?" Ty yelled.  
  
Without answering, Faith took off down the alleyway after her partner. Suddenly her radio came to life. "Yokas, I'm in the second building to the east, fourth floor. Suspect is in one of the apartments," Bosco reported. She ran faster to catch up with him. Once inside, she found Bosco crouching in the doorway.  
  
"I think he's behind door number 406," he whispered as Faith came into listening range. Silently they each took up positions beside the door.  
  
"On my count," Bosco mouthed. "One, two.THREE!"  
  
He kicked in the door and came face to face with a lethal cloud. Suddenly he felt an overwhelming burning sensation, as his eyes teared and his throat constricted. He heard Faith screaming at someone to get down and a barrage of Spanish as he slumped to the floor hacking uncontrollably.  
  
"10-13, my partner is down! Suspect went out the window, street side," she yelled into her radio. "Get down and don't move!" she screamed at what she assumed was the girlfriend or wife.  
  
Bosco was on his knees coughing up a storm and tearing at his eyes. "Bosco, it's okay, it's okay. Help will be here in second, it'll pass," Faith said frantically.  
  
Doc and Carlos ran in behind a number of officers. Doc held Bosco still as Carlos flushed out his eyes with a saline solution.  
  
"How you feelin' Bosco?" Doc asked.  
  
"It's.it's getting better," he gasped. After awhile he was able to pry his eyes open and instantly made contact with Faith's worried ones.  
  
"Can you see?" she asked.  
  
Bosco was paralyzed as he felt himself getting lost in that sea of blue. As crazy as it was, he felt a strange feeling of gratefulness for the attack. Anything that evoked such caring from Faith was worth it in his book.  
  
"Hey, man," Carlos said, shaking his shoulder, "are you blind or something? What are you staring at? We need to get you to the hospital."  
  
"Okay, I'm good, I'm good," he assured them as they helped him up and lead him through the door.  
××××××××× 


	6. Home Again

Chapter Six  
  
Faith wearily walked through her apartment door, tossing her bag haphazardly on the floor.  
  
"Hey hon," Fred said looking at his exhausted wife, "another long night? It's after one."  
  
"Yeah, Bos was maced and we had to take him in to get checked," she said slumping down into her husband's arms. "How're the kids? Did Charlie pass his math test?"  
  
"Bosco got maced?" Fred asked laughing. "Oh, what I would have paid to see that!"  
  
Faith slowly sat up and turned to look at her husband. "Are you kidding me?" she asked in disbelief. "Have you ever been maced? That stuff's nothing to mess around with."  
  
Fred continued to giggle. "Tough 'ol Boscorelli gets taken down with the granny protection!" he said, slapping his knee.  
  
Faith rubbed her eyes. I'm married to a two-year-old, she thought. "Well, whatever. I'm worried about him though," she said.  
  
"Faith," Fred whined, "the stuff's not fatal or anything, he'll live."  
  
"I know that," she responded. "But lately.I don't know his moods have been off and I can tell he hasn't been getting much sleep. I think something's bothering him, but he won't tell me."  
  
""What, are you going to go over there, give him some warm milk and tuck him in," Fred mocked in a singsong voice. "The man is just that, a man. He can handle his own problems. Focus on what's going on around here. Like you maybe getting your shift switched."  
  
"I would only do it if Bos agreed to switch with me," Faith said, regretting the sentence as soon as it left her mouth.  
  
"What?!" Fred exclaimed. "What does he have to do with anything? You're switching so you can spend some time with your daughter, not so you and Bosco can try out another shift together!"  
  
Faith sighed. She was really not in the mood to argue tonight and made a conscious decision to let it go. And Fred had a point. She had enough problems to deal with without adding on Bosco's set. Besides, she mused, if he won't even tell me, it must not be that bad. She headed off to bed with this reassurance.  
××××××××× 


	7. A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood

CHAPTER SEVEN  
  
Bosco and Faith slowly walked outside the apartment building after taking a burglary report from a 62-year-old woman. The day was sunny and warm and both felt in high spirits for the unexpected good weather.  
  
"Can you believe that?" Bosco laughed. "This lady's grand kid steals from her and she calls and asks us to bring her back so she can 'kick some sense into her'? Whatever happened to parents like that? Juvenile crime would take a dip in the statistics."  
  
Faith nodded, smiling. "I almost hope we do find the little brat, just so I can watch. Hey, let's walk down to that bodega and get some sodas."  
  
The two walked down the street in companionable silence. Neighborhood kids raced by them as their parents and relatives enjoyed the sunny day with their sleeves rolled up and their iced tea sparkling.  
  
"Listen, Bos," Faith started. "I've been thinking about switching to days. Ya know, help me spend some more time with the kids."  
  
Bosco calmly looked at her but inside his heart was doing the tango. Leave him? No.  
  
"Anyways," she continued, "I was wondering if you would mind coming with me? I mean we've worked together for so long and I really don't want to go through the mess of training another damn partner." She lightly socked his arm and winked.  
  
Bosco quickly cleared his throat. Not so bad, not so bad, his mind chanted. "It'll be slower in the mornings," he said cautiously.  
  
"But that would be better right? We've got the seniority now," she said enthusiastically. "Besides, I don't know about you, but I'm getting too old for this. Wouldn't it be nice to be on a more natural schedule? Be home in the evenings to have dinner? Besides, you'd miss me too much if you didn't come along."  
  
Bosco stared at Faith after she finished her plea. He knew he would go along with her regardless, but something was eating at him. Was he having second thoughts.  
  
He visibly shook his head. This is crazy, he thought. You'll drive yourself insane without her. Tell her yes.  
  
"Does that mean no?" she asked in disbelief. What, he didn't want to come with her?  
  
"Oh, no!" he exclaimed. "My mind was just wandering off. Of course I'll switch with you. Who else would you mother like a hen?"  
  
Faith laughed, relieved. "Then it's set. I'll go to Swersky on Monday and let him know."  
  
Bosco smiled at her enthusiasm, but couldn't understand what was egging at him. Let it go, he thought, as they reached the bodega.  
××××××××× 


	8. Alone in a Crowd

CHAPTER EIGHT  
  
"Come on, I just wanna grab, ya know, some stuff," Faith said, pushing open her apartment door.  
  
"Don't you women know when it's that time?" Bosco asked following her inside.  
  
"What time? Hi, Bosco!" Charlie shrieked, running over to tackle his legs.  
  
"Hey, Bosco," said a subdued Emily, scribbling away at the kitchen table.  
  
"Where's your dad?" Faith asked, watching Bosco spin Charlie in the air.  
  
"In the bedroom. He said he wasn't feeling too well," Emily replied, barely looking up from her work.  
  
Faith headed to the back of the apartment, while Bosco pulled a chair out beside Emily. "What's this? Doing homework?" he asked.  
  
"Ummm.no. I'm writing a letter," she said furtively.  
  
"Ohhhh," Bosco replied. "Sneaking notes off to the forbidden boy, huh?"  
  
Emily stared at Bosco unsure of how to respond. The next moment they were laughing.  
  
"Shhh!" Emily warned.  
  
"Keep that up and we'll be locking you away next week," Bosco teased.  
  
Just then Faith and Fred walked in arms locked around each other. Bosco winced at the look that passed between the two.  
  
"Guess what guys? Mom is gonna be spending some more time around here," Fred said.  
  
"Really.you quit?" Charlie asked.  
  
"No, I'm going on days," Faith replied. "So, you'll see a lot more of me around here."  
  
The family started talking animatedly with each other and Bosco could only sit and observe. It was then when he realized why he couldn't get on board with the shift change in the first place. Now, what to do about it.  
×××××××××  
  
Later that night, Bosco found himself standing outside the Yokas' apartment building. He went out for a drive to clear his thoughts and somehow ended up over here. He looked up at their apartment window and thought humorlessly what would happen if they caught him standing out here at three in the morning.  
  
"Fred would probably shoot me with her gun," Bosco said to himself. Bosco had finally come to terms with what was bugging him the past couple of days. He knew he loved Faith-there was no doubt about that. But, he also knew Faith loved her family, her husband. As dysfunctional as they could be, that's where Faith's heart would always be. Bosco couldn't bring himself to jeopardize what she was so lucky to have. But it was killing him not to have her, so he was forced to come to one of the hardest decisions of his life. And though it tore apart every fiber of his being, he loved her enough to let her go. Which is exactly what he would do.  
  
Bosco took one last look at the apartment then jumped in his car and roared off into the night.  
××××××××× 


	9. How Do I Break it to You?

CHAPTER NINE  
  
Minutes before the start of the shift, Bosco sat in front of his locker lacing up his shoes. He glanced towards the door willing Faith to walk through. Today was to be their last shift on the third watch. Bosco wanted to break the news to Faith before roll call.  
  
"Couldn't hack it huh, Boscorelli," Sully taunted. "Needed to slow things down a bit in your life?"  
  
Bosco barely registered Sullivan as he watched Monroe walk in. Where the hell was Faith? Just then she sailed through the door out of breath.  
  
"Oh my," she gasped. "I've been behind all morning!"  
  
"Better hurry it up Yokas," Davis warned.  
  
"Yeah, yeah," she shot back.  
  
Bosco walked up next to her and leaned against her locker. "Faith," he started softly. "I.I need to talk to you."  
  
"What's wrong?" she asked, frantically pulling on her shirt.  
  
"Ummm.can ya look at me for a moment here?" he asked, annoyed. "This is hard enough."  
  
"Bos, what?" Faith encountered, equally annoyed. "Can't this wait 'til we get in the squad?"  
  
"I'm staying on this shift," Bosco blurted out. Faith stopped abruptly. She looked at Bosco as if he had sprouted a second head.  
  
"I mean I really want to go with you and all," he rushed on, "but, this is where I belong. You know I'm not a morning person, do you really want to deal with that? I've got my routine and I'm happy with it and there's more excitement here, 'cause you know I'll be bored to tears and who would pick on Sully."  
  
Bosco's rambling excuses died away as Faith stared at him, crestfallen. The silence stretched until Swersky poked his head into the room.  
  
"Hey you two, you're late!" Swersky hollered. "Get your asses out here, you're holdin' everybody up!"  
  
Faith slowly closed her locker, picked up her gun belt and followed Swersky out the room without a backward glance.  
××××××××× 


	10. Alley of Damage

CHAPTER 10  
  
Later that night, Bosco and Faith sat in his Mustang after a long day of excruciating tension. Faith talked Bosco into going out for a drink so she could finally wrench out of him what the hell was going on. As the car sped away, Faith made an effort of focusing her attention everywhere but to her left. She was upset, no doubt. How could he just spring this on me now? she thought. I've already talked to the Lieu about switching and he backs out? Fred is gonna be so pissed.  
  
Faith was jarred alert by her thoughts. Would I actually do that? she wondered. Would I actually stay on the third watch because Bosco wanted to? The realignment of her priorities disturbed Faith. She knew she had to do this for the sake of family and home, but she was miserable. She couldn't imagine not working with Bosco, let alone someone else.  
  
The silence in the Mustang continued to stretch as the car slowed to a stop before a red light. Faith finally turned to look at Bosco and was startled to see him gazing back at her with the same forlorn expression.  
  
"What happened?" she asked softly.  
  
Now would be the time, Bosco's mind prompted, but he pushed away this inner voice. He had already made his decision to shield Faith from his feelings for her own good and he wasn't backing down without a fight.  
  
"Nothing happened Faith," Bosco answered. "I just think it's time for a change, that's all. It's nothing personal."  
  
"Nothing personal?" Faith whispered, wounded.  
  
"Yeah, sometimes when you're so accustomed to a person it can be suffocating. With new partners, we'll both be more open to changes and learning." Bosco had no idea where his lie was leading him or even what the hell he was trying to convey, but he couldn't stop now. On a more subconscious level, he supposed he was attempting to hurt her, to make her pay for not choosing him. This made him feel both justified and disturbed.  
  
"You're trying to get rid of me?" she squeaked out. "Not only are we partners.I thought we were best friends. I am so sorry, I had no idea I was suffocating you to a point where you no longer want me in your life."  
  
"Well I'm tired, I want something new," he said, frustrated. "And best friends? The only thing I am to you is a soundboard for all your damn problems. Our "friendship" is nothing short of a convenience for you, a way for you to control some other aspect of your life since, ya know, controlling Fred is not enough!"  
  
Cars behind the Mustang started honking angrily at Bosco and Faith. Bosco wrenched his mind back to the task at hand and pulled the car into an alleyway. Angrily, he shoved the car in park and jumped out. Up ahead, a group of homeless men were crowded around a makeshift fire. This is not how he wanted to end this he thought desperately, oblivious to the men.  
  
"Where are you going?" Faith asked, jumping out behind him. "Don't walk away from me!"  
  
Bosco spun around "I am not your damn child! I need to get away from you!"  
  
"Not a child?" Faith sneered. "Well, you certainly act like one. You are the most immature man I have ever met, so fine. You can go find someone else to lead you by the hand."  
  
Bosco started walking backwards, slowly losing every ounce of the control he never possessed. "God!" Bosco roared in anguish. "You know what Faith? I'm not going to torture myself over you. If you're too blind to see what I am, who I am, then screw you. Go back to your life and Fred. Go back to being miserable and neglected and hurt. I don't give a damn what happens to you anymore, I won't let you keep playing with me like this!"  
  
Faith was riveted by Bosco's outburst. What the hell was he talking about? Faith's mind screamed in confusion. Hindsight would tell her later that if she hadn't been so focused on Bosco's rant, she may have noticed the shift in the men around the fire.  
  
"I'm going to move on Faith. I'm going to get over you." With these last words, Bosco spun around and found himself face to face with an automatic pistol and a very twisted face.  
  
"NO!!!" Faith screamed as shots shattered the quiet night air.  
××××××××× 


	11. Confessions

CHAPTER ELEVEN  
  
Bosco felt as if he was on fire as his body slowly careened to the left. He felt the impact of his head meeting the cool asphalt and wondered if he'd have a scar. Where are the bucket boys? his mind asked wildly. I'm on fire. They have to put me out. All chaos erupted as the men around the fire scrambled for their belongings and took off.  
  
Faith bolted towards her partner while she screamed into her cell phone. "I'm officer Faith Yokas with the 55th precinct, my partner's been shot! Send help please!" She knelt beside Bosco's fallen body as she shouted their location into the phone. After hanging up with dispatch, Faith dropped her phone and cradled Bosco's head in her lap.  
  
"Maurice, Maurice, Maurice," she chanted, crying uncontrollably, "look at me. You have to stay awake, understand? You have to stay awake!"  
  
Bosco gazed sightlessly up at Faith. "I'm going to die," he whispered in resignation.  
  
"NO!!!" Faith roared. "You are not going to die! You have to fight, you stubborn son of a bitch! Fight Maurice!"  
  
It felt like hours before Faith heard the sirens approaching. Police cars blocked off the alleyway as an ambulance squealed in front of them. Faith was surprised to see Doc and Carlos jumping out of the bus.  
  
"How's he doing?" Doc asked, as he and Carlos rushed up to Faith and Bosco.  
  
"Why are you here?" Faith asked in confusion. "Did you switch your shift too?"  
  
Carlos and Doc shared a look. "Ummm.no we're pulling a double," Carlos answered. "Stand back Yokas, we need to get at him."  
  
Reluctantly Faith pulled back and watched Doc and Carlos work frantically over Bosco's body. She was oblivious to the officers trying to get her attention as she stared into Bosco's blank eyes.  
  
"Okay, let's go!" Doc yelled to the officers. "Faith, come on."  
  
Faith jumped in after the three and grabbed Bosco's hand as she took a seat. Doc called out vitals to Carlos as he worked on Bosco with experienced hands. Suddenly, Bosco's head jerked towards Faith.  
  
"He's awake," Doc informed Carlos. "Bosco? Bosco? Can you hear me? You've been shot, three times in the chest and abdomen and once in your left arm."  
  
"Don't tell him that!" Faith cried.  
  
"Faith, Faith," Bosco struggled.  
  
"Calm down, Maurice. You're gonna be okay."  
  
"I have nothing to lose now," he whispered. "I tried to protect.I have to tell you."  
  
"Shhh, you can tell me later," Faith assured him.  
  
"Now.I chased you.you're the only.thing I know," Bosco persisted.  
  
Doc shot Faith a look. "Bosco, you need to calm down. I need to bag you to protect your airway."  
  
Bosco forcefully pushed away Doc's hands. "Faith I'm in love with you, I've always loved you," he said painfully with his last ounce of strength.  
  
Faith and Doc froze. Regaining his composure quickly, Doc pushed the airbag over Bosco's mouth.  
  
"What's going on, how's he doing?" Carlos asked, sensing the sudden silence.  
  
"Step on it Carlos," Doc demanded. He looked over at Faith and saw that she was in what he could only describe as shock. Her mouth hung slightly agape as she stared straight ahead.  
  
Carlos pulled the bus up to Angel of Mercy and jumped out to help unload Bosco. The two paramedics rushed his gurney up to the waiting emergency room personnel, shouting out vital statistics. Faith followed in a fog, oblivious to everything and everyone. One of the officers on duty asked her questions about the incident and she answered each in autopilot.  
  
I killed my partner, was her last thought as the world went black.  
××××××××× 


	12. Losing Control

CHAPTER TWELVE  
  
Faith. Faith. She heard her name being chanted in the mist. Bosco, is that you? She called. She could feel him shaking her gently, but she couldn't see him. Why can't I see you? She cried out desperately.  
  
"Faith, come on wake up."  
  
Faith slowly opened her eyes and found herself staring straight into her husband's eyes. She felt an overwhelming sense of.disappointment?  
  
"Are you okay?" Fred asked gently. "The nurses said you passed out."  
  
Faith slowly sat up and oriented herself. She was lying down on a gurney in the hallway. "What time is it?" she asked groggily.  
  
Fred consulted his watch. "It's almost two in the morning," he answered. "What the hell were you and Boscorelli doing in an alleyway?"  
  
Like a freight train, the events of the night came crashing back down on Faith. She struggled against Fred's protective arms. "Maurice! Oh my God, where is he? What happened?"  
  
"They took him up to surgery Faith, calm down," Fred demanded.  
  
Faith was about to counter with a demand of her own, but was suddenly cut off by an approaching figure.  
  
"Faith!" Angela Rose Boscorelli cried, rushing up to her gurney. "What happened? They won't tell me anything! Why did someone shoot him?"  
  
Faith searched Bosco's mother's tearstained face. "I'm so sorry," she whispered, "this is all my fault."  
  
"Faith," Fred started.  
  
"Your fault? I don't understand.who shot him? Is there someone targeting cops?" Rose asked frantically.  
  
"It was some homeless guy, I don't think he knew Maurice was a cop," Faith answered, piecing it together. "We were having an argument and he nearly backed into this crowd of guys standing around a fire. I don't know if the guy got spooked because he was yelling or what, but he just pulled a gun and starting shooting."  
  
Rose gripped Faith's arm. "He's up in surgery. I don't know.they said it was serious. I don't know." she trailed off weeping.  
  
Faith slid off the gurney and lead Bosco's mother into the doctor's lounge with Fred following behind. Faith felt an overwhelming sense of guilt as Rose collapsed on the couch. She turned and bolted out of the room running right smack into Sullivan and Davis.  
  
"Whoa, Faith," Ty warned, grabbing her arms. "Slow down. Are you alright? We came as soon as we heard."  
  
"I'm just dandy, but Maurice is having a pretty shitty day," Faith snapped.  
  
"Faith," Fred interrupted, coming out of the lounge. "What's wrong with you? Come have a seat and wait for the doctor to come and update us."  
  
"Update what? He's going to die," Faith informed him. "He told me he was going to die and it's all my fault. He's going to die because of me. That's what's 'wrong' with me."  
  
"It's not your fault Faith," Sully assured her.  
  
"I don't think Bosco's so stubborn that he would intentionally die to prove a point," Fred insisted, not entirely sure he understood what they were discussing.  
  
"His name is MAURICE!!" Faith screamed, losing control. "Not Bosco, Maurice! And you don't know him. You never knew him and neither did I!"  
  
Fred, Ty and Sully looked on stunned as Faith slumped against the wall and slid to the floor wracked with sobs. Doc and Carlos approached quietly and helped Faith to her feet.  
  
"Why don't you lie down for a minute? We'll come let you know when they update his status," Doc suggested. Faith allowed them to lead her back into the doctor's lounge.  
××××××××× 


	13. Family

CHAPTER THIRTEEN  
  
The group looked up expectantly as the doctor entered the lounge. The pounding in Faith's head was so loud she had to strain to catch the doctor's words.  
  
"We were able to stop the internal bleeding," he began "but his condition is still critical. We've done everything we can up to this point, so it's up to him now. Family members can visit him for a span of fifteen minutes each and then I would suggest everyone go home and get some rest."  
  
Rose stood up to follow the doctor, but stopped short. Turning to Faith she said "Come, on. Let's go see him."  
  
Faith gazed back at her, confused. "You.I can see him?"  
  
"Well, yeah. He always said you were family," Rose answered, puzzled by Faith's hesitance.  
  
Faith's eyes filled with unshed tears as she grabbed Rose's hand and headed towards the elevator.  
  
Once in the ICU, Faith felt more anxious than ever. They followed the doctor to Bosco's room.  
  
"One at a time, fifteen minutes each no more," he warned. "The nurse will be watching."  
  
The doctor walked off as Rose entered first. Faith was unsettled by the silence of the floor. People died here, she mused. But not Maurice, she told herself insistently. He's going to pull through.  
  
Maurice. Faith couldn't remember the last time she had referred to him by his first name. As close as they were, she couldn't inject that level of intimacy? Against her better judgment her mind wandered to Bosco's confession. Love her? Since when? How could she have been so blind? The gods could pull a cruel joke if they wanted to Faith pondered bitterly, recalling her own crush on Maurice Boscorelli. For the longest time Faith would entertain fantasies of running off with Bosco, leaving behind everything she knew for the sake of passion. But, she wised up long ago knowing deep in her heart it would never happen, she wasn't Bosco's type and she already had Fred. Faith shook her head ruefully recalling the shame and embarrassment she used to feel for thinking such thoughts. She was no Nicole and never would be. It got to a point where Faith had finally found the will to lock away that part of her life and focus on reality. She had done a pretty good job too, considering she had no idea her partner felt the same why. Oh, the gods could be so cruel.  
  
But she couldn't focus on that right now. Getting Bosco better was what counted, she could sort out her jumbled feelings later. She looked up and saw Rose motioning her towards the door. Faith stood up, straightened her shoulders, and went in to see her partner.  
××××××××× 


	14. Fighting Through the Mist

CHAPTER FOURTEEN  
  
Bosco slowly opened his eyes and found himself staring at a water-spotted ceiling. This is not my apartment, he thought irritably, who did I go home with this time? Bosco struggled to sit up but found that he couldn't. I feel like lead or something, he said to himself. Wait a minute.I can't talk! As soon as this dawned on him his body was hit with a sudden spasm of pain. Every time he tried to move his limbs felt as if they were on fire.  
  
Relax, relax, he told himself. Think. At this command he suddenly remembered what had brought him here. Flashbacks of the shooting and the ambulance ride flew through his memory as he cursed his bad fortune. Not only was he shot all to hell, but he had spilled his guts to Faith.  
  
Stupid, stupid, stupid, he chastised himself. He would have smacked his head if he could only lift his arm. Just then a nurse walked in and noticed his attempts at mobility.  
  
"Officer Boscorelli, you're awake," she said cheerfully. "My name is Abby. I'll go notify the doctor."  
  
Bosco watched the nurse leave, noting the nice way her butt filled out her scrubs. I'm losing my mind, Bosco thought. I'm checking out chicks now? Soon after, the doctor entered Bosco's room with chart in hand.  
  
"Officer Boscorelli, welcome back," he greeted him. "I'm Dr. Benton. Despite being in a coma for four days, you're prognosis looks good. You'll be a guest of ours for awhile I'm afraid."  
  
Bosco glared at the doctor. I gotta stay in here? Great. Just then he grimaced as another wave of pain coursed through his body.  
  
"Give him ten of morphine," Dr. Benton said to Abby. "We're going take the tube out now okay? Just listen to me."  
  
Bosco coughed violently as the tube was slid out of his throat. "Recovery will be rough officer, but we'll get you through it." Dr. Benton assured him. "Your mother should be here soon as well as your partner. "  
  
"Wonderful," he croaked. The last thing he wanted to see was his mother's pain and his partner's revulsion. Bosco felt a headache coming on. Stupid, stupid, stupid.  
  
"Hey Abby," Bosco squeaked. "Who's the jagoff that shot me?" ×××××××××  
  
"Do you have to be a pain in the ass?" Rose asked, trying to shove green beans down her son's throat.  
  
"This stuff sucks," Bosco whined. "What I need is a stiff bourbon."  
  
"You can drink yourself silly when you get outta here," she replied successfully getting the spoon in his mouth. "Until then open up."  
  
Bosco chewed thoughtfully on the slimy vegetables. He had been awake for a total of five days and was gaining his strength back more and more each day. Faith hadn't been to the hospital since he woke up. At first he was grateful; now he was hurt.  
  
"Where the hell is Faith," Bosco asked gruffilly. "Does she think I bit it or something?"  
  
Rose put down the spoon. "I have no idea what's going on," she said. "She was here with me every minute while you were sleeping. I called to tell her you had woken up and that's the last I heard of her."  
  
"Well, she can kiss my ass," Bosco retorted, irritated with his hurt feelings.  
  
Rose studied her son. "Maurice.what were you guys arguing about?'  
  
"Huh?" he asked blankly.  
  
"Faith said that you two were arguing and that's why you were shot. Or at least that's why she believed you were shot," Rose answered trying to sort out the logic of this. "Or something. I don't know, I think her guilt was talking. Anyways, what fight led you two into the alley?"  
  
Bosco ruminated over this as he played with his sling. "At least he got my left arm," he said avoiding the question.  
  
"Maurice."  
  
"I don't remember. Okay? Is it important? No. It's not relevant as to why my ass is laid up in a hospital room." Bosco could feel another headache coming on.  
  
"Well, I just think it's funny she was here when you were unconscious but isn't here to speak to you," Rose said, unwilling to let the subject drop. "It's almost as if she's avoiding you or something. I'm sure by now she realizes this isn't her fault.so maybe your fight is what's keeping her away."  
  
Bosco winced as his mother voiced his own beliefs. He felt even worse for coming clean to Faith. But he honestly thought he was going to die-he couldn't go without confessing his true feelings. He owed that to himself. She must be disgusted with him. Bosco laid back against the pillows and closed his eyes. ××××××××× 


End file.
